Life is as good as life should be. One of my best friends received a four thousand dollar scolarship this morning, to fund the making of a really simple program that could potentially alter the way we look at learning. Another friend opened up a t-shirt company called Florange! I got support and encouragement for different “business” ideas from both friends and Swedish entrepeneurs Isabella “Blondinbella” Löwengrip and Pingis Hadenius. I have two ideas for web-TV or regular ol’ TV that I’ve started e-mailing some partners about. Things are exciting and heading the right way.
The biggest lesson this week has been “You can’t wait to feel like it, because you might be waiting forever”. And if you wait long enough, you’ll be unprepared when that golden holy scheisse moment comes and you can’t do anything with it. Work hard on your goals and surround yourself with people who really support you. I can’t believe how many amazing go-getter friends I’ve had all along! And so many things are brewing in this city… Stockholm is really turning out to be the new capital of the world…
I’m such an awesome blogger, disappearing for days and stuff…
Things that are going on this week
! accounting exam
! microeconomy exam
Things that are going on next week
♥ a major trip overseas
♥ photoshoot for a magazine
Things that I should be doing
- doing all of the paperwork for my jobs
- studying better (quality > quantity)
Things that I am doing instead
A pic of me outside Stockholm Public Library
OMG OMG OMG. I am so happy right now. AND SO RELIEVED. My blog was hacked for a few months but the lovely and awesome team at Akismet fixed it, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Omg! A couple of months ago I started getting a weird hollow feeling about my blog – as if it was getting hacked. And you gotta trust your gut, because I was right and soon my site url counted as spam and I couldn’t comment, send emails and was dropped by two sponsors. Everything felt awful and as I started to blog again, I didn’t want to let it discourage me.
So I e-mailed Akismet’s support team and they unspammed me really fast - ask for Mark – he’s nice.
Picture taken outside of my boyfriends family’s place in Ibiza, by the neighborhood pool.
For the first time in my life – I love studying at an institution. I guess it’s easy when the professors are supportive and you’re studying something awesome with practical value for your immediate future. In the business economics class I’m studying accounting with a test on Monday. In national economics we’re studying all sorts of different microeconomic theories and applications with a test today (!) The interpreter class I’m going to on afternoons is ending soon because I’ve already handed in all assignments
Being busy and smiley has its benefits, but the only sad part is that I have to prioritize between fun activities. On Thursday there’s a stand-up show, a night club event for young investment bankers, a dinner with Handelsbanken and the grande finale sittning for us business economy students that I’m going to. I wish I had a time-turner like Hermione. I’d probably start studying more and attending more events in the beginning but then after a while I’d probably just use it to play the Sims more.
All that is gold does not glitter might be my favourite poem ever. Here’s som music to go with that poem.
More than ten thousand people have seen my pictures, videos and writings this week. I remember how over-excited I was the first week I blogged and four thousand people saw my painting. But this feels different. People are engaged. So many that have helped me with languages, singing, photography and so many that have asked for recipes, my pictures and how my language learning is coming along. It feels
nice fucking amazing and cozy. I used to have this appetite for food, for love and my life but when all things horrible happened at the end of 2012 and the beginning of 2013 it was just gone. Now it feels like it’s definitely back and with a vengeance. I’m re-learning Japanese by watching Attack on Titan, getting photography jobs, developing Sims-like game (that I might release on the blog…) and food has gotten its former glorious taste back. And even though things still might feel heavy at times – the aching is soothed by my mom, my boyfriend, my family, my friends and random lovely strangers on the internet who believe in me. So next week I’m going to go for more surrealistic pictures and cozy music because that makes me feel excited just thinking about it!
In no particular order.
10. Reflection. Thinking about where I’ve been, where I am now and where I want to go.
9. Water. I’m drinking so much hot tea and honeywater that my lips are going all Jolie on me.
8. Eat awesome things. I can’t eat lame things because I don’t have the energy for it.
7. Diving into my crazy hobbies. I have so much time to just memorize everything in the world now.
6. Eat, again. I bought lots of junk food from ÖoB. T’was awesome.
5. Hanging out with grandma. We’re just very good at laughing together.
4. Music. I can’t sing with this sore throat, but I’ve been compensating by playing piano.
3. Ideas for passing time. Like drawing on planes.
2. Lots of time for practising quasi-necessary things. Like transforming hoodies into a laptop carrier.
1. More time to watch Barcelona games.
We are creatures of habit and I’m figuring out how to automatically do things I would otherwise never do by just making them routine. After breakfast, I got on the sub with Filip who was going to work and got off at Skanstull. There I swam 2 km, had a 20 min bikramyoga session and then went back to Filip’s. I did some sketch-art, played Mario Kart until the controller’s battery ran out and listened to some podcasts. Life can’t just be consumed by one single thing (such as the restaurant). I need to have other things to do, to fall back on and to be passionate about so I don’t procrastinate life by being on reddit. Reddit is fine and has its place sometimes, but everything in moderation except kissing.
Speaking of kissing (oh my segway into Valentine’s Day is sooo smooth) Filip and I spent it at home eating chocolate, candy, chips, chocolate pudding, triple burgers and the sorts. I had a small crisis that Filip helped me from by just holding my hands. Herro Firip if you read a dis, I love you and now I’m going to continue watching House of Cards. Then I’ll get back to work for real.
The universe is sneakily very mystical and there is shiz out there that we have no idea of how they work. Like the coincidence of last nights dream with Tarantino. So I go outside a bank and Quentin is outside waiting for me. We take a walk and start talking about stuff and he’s kind of making himself smaller as my confidence grows in the conversation and then I just blurt out while he’s mumbling to himself things he needs to remember to write down “You know, you’re brilliant. But you’re sort of tardy/weird”. I just remember him acting VERY differently towards different people. And then before he had to go we took some awful pictures of us together that he was nice enough to let me re-take lots of times more.
So after having that dream I hop on the train to the city and start listening to the new episode of Joe Rogan’s podcast with none other than… Mr. T. Ferriss. So as they are talking I zone out from time to time and listen whenever it hits a topic I’m interested in. And then I start going back to that dream with Tarantino and go over it in my head… And just at that moment they start talking about him! And almost word for word, they say that he is a brilliant but weird guy. And then they start talking about how he changes his whole persona based on the social situation and who he’s talking to…
A quick word about why dreaming matters so much to me. Although I have very little scientific evidence to prove this, I believe that when I dream at the most detailed and highest moments – I experience something beyond life. I tried writing this sentence a couple of times without sounding hippie, but it is impossible to describe it without sounding like a com-effing-plete nutjob. So… Ayahuasca is this psychedelic drug that is illegal everywhere. It contains high concentrations of DMT/dimethyltryptamine and that life-altering psychedelic compound is also created biosynthetically in mammals. Particularly in humans, our highest levels of DMT occur during deep REM-sleep a.k.a. when we are dreaming hardcore mode. And as you should know by now, hardcore dream mode is my only way of dreaming.